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Feb 09, 2022
This isn't my usual blog post talking about a photoshoot, photo, or making a sale announcement.
I hope you don't mind if I take a moment to tell you why my posts and emails may be a bit sporadic and changing over the next few weeks (months? Years?).
This is my son, Rory, and he's cradling his newborn daughter, Carsyn. I was so overwhelmed with joy when I saw this photo that I cried.
There's so much LOVE! And shouldn't love be the point of everything we do?
Carsyn was born on Monday but I haven't seen her yet, except through FaceTime and photos. She was born via C-section and due to Covid precautions, no visitors are allowed.
Rory and his wife, Kristen, live close by, and I'm going to be spending a LOT of time with this little one.
There are lots of changes in the works for me which I'll share soon.
I'm still going to be running my photo business, and I hope you'll hang in there with me as I continue along this path.
The last couple of years have been ROUGH!
I've thought of giving up on my photography business and going full-time into writing, but I know that would be premature, it's not really what I want, and I'm not one to give up.
I am, however, one to keep things on a light note.
Have I been making this look easy? Oh my - it's not!
But - as I've embarked on this journey of self-discovery over the years since my divorce, and dived into my photography and art, (while scrambling to pay the bills), I've also learned that to get the kind of work I want, I have to get to know myself better.
That's sometimes harder than you'd think.
For me, creating is a constant cycle of asking myself what I'm trying to say in my work, how I want it to look, and then - if I'm dissatisfied - looking deeper to figure out what's missing or to question whether it's the ever-present demon of perfectionism plaguing me and not the work at all.
Sometimes figuring out what direction to take my art should really mean not keeping things light and maybe even annoying some people (or pissing them off!). I've just always hesitated to go there.
For you to get to know my work, you have to get to know me, and keeping things at surface level isn't always the best way to do that, even if you end up not liking what you see (in me or my work). But...
That's what the "unsubscribe" button is for, and while I used to dread seeing unsubscribes, thinking it somehow meant I was failing, now I'm more than okay with them.
Everyone has different likes and dislikes and strong opinions, especially when it comes to art (and politics, and life!) and that's OKAY!
I've seen what social media can do to people, and that makes me anxious, thus my penchant for tending to stick to the light stuff. But that's the easy way.
I'm finding my tribe - the people who love my work - yes - but also the people who love the process and who challenge me to go deeper into my art and push myself into new areas of creativity.
I'm letting loose my streams of thought - worrying less and experimenting more.
If you've stuck with me this far (with today's post AND the years I've been developing in my art and business), a heartfelt thank you!
You may see some changes over the next few weeks, months, years...as I get further down this road of self-discovery. I'm not interested in the slick, consistent, curated social media look that pleases everyone but doesn't excite anyone.
I'm doing this for love.
As I said, I hope you'll hang, but if not, be blessed!
For those who stay - thank you! And don't hesitate to hit "reply" to my emails or comment here and tell me what you think or ask me questions!
And, see you between the raindrops!
Welcome to the world baby Carsyn! I don't even know you yet and I love you beyond imagining!
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