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Aug 19, 2017
I’m so embarrassed. It’s been way too long since my last blog post, and I should have had this (my first newsletter!) written and sent out months ago. What’s the story? I took on a full-time job in January (in a bank, dear God, a bank! So. Not. Me.), because I panicked about not having health insurance for myself and my two girls. It’s one thing when it’s me going without. It’s a whole ‘nother thing when two of my kids are without. The plan was to spool up my business on the side until I felt “comfortable” enough to quit the health-benefit-providing job. I worked all day at the incredibly stressful bank job - a job that was not suited to me and was sucking the soul out of me. (I’m not kidding.) I came home exhausted with precious little time to work on my dream photography business. I was tired, disheartened, disorganized, and not getting things done well or in a timely manner. (LOL - See Below) And I have this problem. It’s called “Fear of Failure.” I suffered with a serious case of it for a long time. My divorce made my fears 1,000 times worse - I was facing so many unknowns. But, you know what? I've gotten through some really tough times, and... I’m claiming back my life. I've learned a few things over the years: * Circumstances can change radically in a heartbeat, turning your life upside down. You have to live the life you want when you want it - not “when I get this figured out, or that figured out.” * I can’t do a job I hate simply for the health benefits. In fact, that’s a sure way to destroy my health. * A guaranteed way to fail is to hold back and not give it my all - 100%. Or, as Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” * I'd rather fail knowing I gave it my best shot than to not take the risk in the first place. Here’s what I’m doing: * Making the decision, letting go of the outcome, and showing up to do the hard work every single day. * Quitting the self-limiting, negative thinking patterns. (I’m not good enough! This is too complicated! It isn't perfect yet! I'm going to go broke! This is irresponsible!) You know what I’m talkin’ about, right? * Investing in myself and my business by purchasing a software platform tailored to my specific art-selling and writing desires and needs. (Thank you Art Storefronts) * Ditching PERFECTION. (This is a tough one. I hate putting something out there with my name on it if it isn’t perfect. But, you know what? Perfection is a mirage and an obstacle, and I'm done letting it get in my way). * I quit the bank job, and I bought my girls a one-year health insurance plan through their schools. Am I nervous? A little. This feels like stepping off a cliff. But...I’m also deliriously happy, liberated, and experiencing incredible clarity and focus. Here I am: Susan J Photography, LLC - travel and fine-art photographer, writer/blogger My Other Embarrassment I had my work hanging on the gallery wall of a funky fun cafe around the corner from me in Cabbagetown back in December. I gathered email addresses for a print giveaway that I was going to do in January. I misplaced the email addresses - in my tiny house? Where could they be? They were under some junk in the trunk of my car. Good grief. Embarrassing. But...yeah! I found them! It’s finally time for the print giveaway. (Not in a very timely manner - see above!) And the winner is: Jules C. Congratulations! You've won a framed copy of the above print Between a Rock and a Hard Place. Enjoy your new print! I hope y’all will stay with me as I share my journey. Please feel free to pass this newsletter to a few friends! And stop by my site at www.susanjphotography.com to check it out. My dad (ever the optimist) said this to me a little while back: “Susan, the last few years you've been living in a storm. But, it seems to me that you’ve been dancing between the raindrops.” Bye for now... See you between the raindrops! Susan
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